Prince Fucking Charming

I wanted to post something on this topic for a while, but didn’t have a high res picture. Now just by accident I have found another moron doing the same thing and posting his pic in high res all over his album covers. The action that I despise so much and that I want to be talking about right now is the “hand framing”:

Now, hand framing is usually done by film directors with marginal technical knowledge in low budget films when they are communicating with the camera man and the DOP (director of photography – the guy, who is responsible for the visual part of the film, such as lighting, focus and, mostly, camera work).

Why director and not the DOP or the camera man? Simply because the latter have the actual camera frame at their disposal.

Why marginal technical knowledge? Because hardcore technocrats directors will be all over the camera. Just look at the works of Stanley Kubrick.

Why low budget films? Simply because any film with the budget higher than 10K us will have somebody on the set with the thing, called director’s viewfinder.

Finally – this is what the hand framing normally looks like:

… stupid smile is optional, by the way…

and here is what Italian DJ’s Manuel Le Saux album cover looks like:

you see what I mean? The whole idea of the hand framing is to … well frame without moving the camera all the time – in this case whoever wants to show the stuff he wants to see in the frame simulates the actual frame (with the, hopefully, correct aspect ratio) and then the viewer works his magic to facilitate the request of the first guy within the said frame. Obviously there isn’t much point in trying to make a frame of an incorrect shape! I mean the frame, Mr. Le Saux is making is pentagonal. As far as I know, there are no devices that are making neither motion nor still pictures with pentagonal frames.

Moron Nr. 2 is not a person, but the Chamber of Commerce of Wallonia none the less! The first (and the absolute prime) example of the invitation to the economically dysfunctional part of Belgium with the totally wrong (read pretentious and unprofessional) handframing guy I have noticed couple of years ago somewhere deep inside Brussels international airport, but never got around to take a picture of it. They even got a supporting website with the same pic. Now, however, they have updated the website and beside the original moronic handframing they got two more idiotic examples of … well, I am not really sure what they are trying to do here:

Just look at this… I really don’t know what to say – these guys are inviting businesses to the region, while openly admitting to the fact, that they have no clue of what they are doing.

This must the be unique frame to Wallonia – parallel horizontal with the aspect ratio 1:∞. Infinity is a numerical concept, right?

well, this round frame is just plain stupid.

Also, while the concept of Manuel Le Saux was to explain to his audience that he as the DJ considers himself the artist and the director, while his audience (well, us then) is his material, props, so to say – an old and very tired, but valid, nonetheless, concept, I am not sure what the Chamber of Commerce of Wallonia’s ads are trying to say. I mean we, as the viewer, can not be put in the situation of the props. In fact the viewer should be given the observer’s role, since the CoCoW is trying to showcase themselves. At the same time this is the whole region, so we can not be directors, thus the entire concept is completely out of place. I would recommend them to switch to something different, right after they fire their current advertising company.

Doesn’t Robin seem to be something like a Bruce Wayne’s lustknabe?

This picture I took in Gemrmany. This is the ultimate proof that Germans don’t speak any English. I wonder what the guy was thinking when he got the license plate.

And this is the logo of the actual organization – Auto-Strassenhilfen-Schweiz (which means something like Auto Assistance Switzerland). They, actually, did find the translation to French and Italian, which are other two official languages in Switzerland.

And this is the actual ASS car. Their web site can be found, very appropriately, on ASS.CH.

This is the funniest shit I have seen!!!

Ha ha ha ha! LOL! ROFL! I simply can’t stop laughing from the idea that somebody actually beleives in the nutritious value of cum! Comon people, the whole idea is funny and stuff, but you can’t be serious when writing this:

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients – you will love this cook book!

On the other hand majority of the comments are pure pisstake:

I like lateral thinking quizes like the next guy, that’s why I am, once in a while, looking for them online. Unfortunatley, there seems to be only one or two sets to be avaliable online, so whatever site you go, majority of the quizzes you already know. If this would have been not enough, some of the quizzes are plain radiculous. Check this out:

The Great Wall of China

An American who has never been to another country sees the Great Wall of China with his own eyes. He’s standing on solid ground. How is this possible?

The Answer: He’s an astronaut on the Moon.

My Answer: Come on! As far as I know, the only guy on the moon was Armstrong. But I believe he has been outside of the US. At least say something, like a child of the American ambassador in China, before he and his family went back home or something.

How to Age Quickly?

The day before yesterday, Jenny was 17 years old. Next year, she’ll be 20 years old. How is this possible?

The Answer: Today is January 1st, her 18th birthday was on December 31st. This year she’ll be 19; 20 next.

My Answer: She might be 20 next year, but not in a years time, so this is a small snug, on which the quiz is profiteering. Basically the whole question is based upon incoherent expression of the idea, just like Chewbaka defence.

Here is a classic one:

Death in a Field

A man is lying dead in a field. Next to him there is an unopened package. There is no other creature in the field. How did he die?

The Answer: The man had jumped from a plane but his parachute had failed to open

My Answer: Does anybody know, what the packed parachute looks like? It does not look like a package in any way. Beside, the “package” will not be next to him, but on him. WTF?

And it goes on and on

Сижу в самолете. Рейс Париж – Дубаи.

Самолет идет на посадку, энтертейнмент, конечно, перед посадкой бырубается, зато включается таблица connecting flights. Один из них на Лондон.

Вот это connecting flight!